


Fall Out

by Yeldah



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Manipulation, Psychological Trauma, Sex, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29640504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeldah/pseuds/Yeldah
Summary: How trauma feels inside my body and mind in the aftermath.Please try to read it with an everyday tone.





	Fall Out

I feel it on my skin, building up under my fingernails,  
In little beads of sweat on my collar bones at night, running off and pooling evidence on my sheets  
Dust in my lungs,  
A sudden sense of the space under my chin,  
An ache between my shoulder blades

Sometimes, it coils ‘round and pulls my hands away from wherever they’ve found fat to pinch  
It hangs on my earlobe then and says I’m beautiful  
Reshaped, reframed, I am indebted either way  
And the cost of this comfort tastes acrid

It slips in, a draft under a door, and I don’t always notice right away  
Empty air made dense, my joints stiffen  
A memory, some single instance out of many,  
Flares up to make the same sounds as it did before, or ones that sound the same,  
Loop, rehash, snip, edit, yet remain,  
Whispering to me from behind my eyes and making old things change color.  
It tints the new.

When I’m alone, we are together, my periphery  
A shimmering wish with regret for a shadow, a lie  
It blurs the silhouettes of other people as they reach for me  
Its image regurgitated from the pit in my stomach and pasted over what’s really there and I,  
I wrap my legs around my lovers anyway

Sometimes, I shake my head and it falls out.  
It always makes the floor sticky.


End file.
